Dreams and Addiction

I can now conclude that I am addicted to this new Manga-turned-to-Anime series. The series is called Sword Art Online (family photo below). This series is about people from young ages to old ones and they meet in a virtual world where you can kill people, fly, play with swords, guns, be able to face your fears and just be an entire different person from who you truly are.

In my dream, I was well aware that I wasn't in a game. Only that I was influenced by the show I watched. This morning I dreamed about physically hurting my boyfriend's sister. I knew that I was doing wrong but I didn't mind because I was frustrated by her. I kept on pulling her hair and hitting her head on the walls. The most frustrating part was she never looked hurt. 

In my other dream just 40 minutes ago, I was in a different place. There were car chasing, different people, Arabs, Americans, Filipinos, my family was there. 3 of us had this invisibility power. Anyway, I was beside the driver through a rough and muddy path up the mountain but I wasn't scared at all. In fact, I was enjoying it. Then the scene changed, it was a ride like a roller coaster but wet. It had huge logs rolling side by side to carry our boat up to the top and when we got there it paused to dry our clothes and clear the boat with water. Eventually it dropped us and we got wet again. And the scene changed again, we were in an actual roller coaster and the ride had just started. We were about to begin with the fast speed of the roller coaster when I noticed that people were near the rails and I got worried they'd get hit. I was beginning to imagine blood all over my face. But before we could begin with the fast speed of the ride I woke up.

Now I don't know how to explain those dreams of mine but they had 1 thing in common, it was set in a carnival. The first dream we were captured and taken to a carnival. There was even a crying baby in the scene. So I guess since I watched SAO a lot these past 2 weeks, I could say I can blame them. But I'm going to observe myself if I'll have a common dream tonight.

October 22, 2013

I know for the past months, I have been searching for a guy and hoping that someday he'll become my boyfriend. I have encountered a couple of guys and recently I met a guy who I thought was different. Well he was different, but in a bad way because he seemed to only use me for personal gain and it took me two months to open up my own eyes and realize that he was just wrong for me.

During the second month, another person came into my life. I never wanted to fall for him, but you know what they say "the more you stay away from something, the more it'll come to you." So I was haunted for a couple of days until I finally admitted it to myself that I have finally fallen for someone without forcing myself to fall for them. I mean I never asked for that guy but instead God gave him to me. Ever since then I thought of him as a blessing and not another guy problem.

March 5, 2013

I received this question saying “If the w0rld will end t0m0rr0w, wh0 will be the last pers0n that u want t0 say i l0ve u? And why?” It made me stop and think on who’s name I should answer to that question. To tell you the truth, I’d be lying if I’d day “my parents” or “my family”. So who is it really? The lucky person who’d be the one to hear me say those 3 words, eight letters? He can’t be my crush (Chris), that’s impossible. I don’t even love him. Couldn’t be my ex-boyfriend, he doesn’t deserve my last “I love you”.

I thought about my best friends; Cloe, Alloy, Kezeah, and Lenny. Doesn’t sound right either. Even though if I’d say it to my best friend, I don’t have one because I have four for the meantime. So that won’t work. Next, I thought about Christer, I’m still a bit upset with him but he still doesn’t deserve what I’m about to say. I thought about Stuart, Jojo. He just might make the cut, but why do I love him if I’d say it to him? Do I even have to answer why we love a person? I thought about it again and I just knew he’s not the one person I’m meaning to say my “I love you” to.

After a few moments of thinking about it while writing whatever I’m saying in my head, it finally struck me. Only one person deserves my Love the way no other person in this world does, not even my parents. I was brought to a conclusion that GOD deserves my I LOVE YOU. No one has ever loved me as greatly as He did. No one as unconditional, no one as much. So I guess that’s my answer to the question given by Stuart through ask.fm. GOD.

God, I need my powers back

What really happened to me? I used to be this really inspired type of girl when it comes to editing photos and videos. *Quick history: I was in 6th grade when I discovered about Photoshop on our laptop. I was just checking things out, clicking random buttons on the software until I fell in love with it. That's where everything started. I was also a youtuber that time, I saw videos, tutorials. It inspired me on what I could do using PS. I had that much power and imagination.* I'm not blaming high school, I got more active on my Freshmen years. I must have done something wrong. Tracing back through my memories, I realize that ever since I engaged into a young boy-girl relationship, I lost my sight of my goals in relation to editing. I got obsessed with my boyfriend, I was never busy with school work. Yet I was busy texting.

Now that I'm single again, for 3 months already. I was hoping to get my mojo back. But still, my edits look crappy to me. No life, no noise, I played it safe. I used to make awesome photos, edits, youtube and twitter backgrounds. I soon became inactive of my blog that was meant for editing. When I was a Sophomore, I made another blog on weebly.com. I posted my latest edits there, along with my other interests like giving links for downloads. But when I became a Junior, I slowly forgot about it. I only open Photoshop for a quick edit of my photo.

Now that I'm a Senior, preparing for college. Still confused on what to take. I thought about Computer Engineering, because I had this interest in computers. Or maybe Graphical Design. But I started having second thoughts about my choices and once again, I was lost in the world and I'm running out of time. So I'm praying to God to enlighten me. If related to Computers is where I really belong, then send me a sign. I need inspiration. I even forgot on how good I was at editing.

Samples:

2010

for more go to: http://peopleitsana.blogspot.com/

2011

2012

for more go to: http://justmeana.weebly.com/